There are a variety of substances and behaviors that are addictive. Most everyone knows what the main substances and habits are, that affect us in our society. Our habits are choices that are not right or wrong, since any choice is chosen to bring us more pleasure, even if we deny that pleasure. Here are some of the most common substances and behaviors that can become excessive habits, which we call Addictions:
Compulsive Caffeine drinking
Compulsive Chocolate consumption
Compulsive Sugar consumption
Excessive Sexual habits, fetishes, and fantasies.
Role-playing Sado-masochistic activities to extremes.
If we really are receiving full pleasure from our present choices and the acquired results, and we can honestly say that we are fully satisfied, on all levels, of how our behavior affects our self and others, then perhaps changing our behavior is unnecessary.
I would say that if our habits become unmanageable, to the point where we experience guilt, and we find that we are not really enjoying ourselves, or we are becoming overly obsessive, to the point where we are using our addiction to avoid our feelings and deny our problems, then it is time to slow down and find our real pleasure, deeper than our surface stimulation of sensations and our temporary gratification.
Of course many of us take our obsessions to the point where we are abusive and cause a great deal of damage to others as well as to our self. Most of the time there are deeper unresolved issues that are causing us to feel propelled to act the way that we do, and to make the repetitive choices that we make, day in and day out, over and over and over again. We are in fact a slave to our compulsions and often our unmet desires are driving us to go faster than is honestly caring about our health, and happiness, in the long run; that is a happiness that is lasting and dependable, and health that supports us feeling really good, mentally, emotionally, and physically, and of course, spiritually.
To really be free from debilitating habits, and feel spiritual liberation, we have to continually look at where we are resisting truly enjoying our life, along with all of the challenges that life presents to us.
Many of the choices that we make, can be empowered choices that we make from a wise sense of inner knowing; when we slow down, and allow our self to listen and feel and receive our truth. Addictions are a symptom of our running away from our inner wisdom, and our deep true feelings that are meant to guide us in a direction that will bless us the most.
Our cranky inner child is usually rebelling against many unresolved issues, and the fact remains that avoiding our crankiness, will not solve our problems. Avoiding them only creates more problems for us, and our wounded self image gets even more battered and tattered. Here are some of the main reasons why we chose to disassociate with substance abuse, and excessive behaviors:
I do not want to slow down and listen to my heart.
I do not want to feel my painful uncomfortable feelings.
I do not want to grow up and take responsibility for myself.
When we feel wounded, we feel a craving for nourishment and for nurturing. We crave understanding and appreciation. We crave support from our friends and family, and sometimes that support is not found in our home or even amongst our friends.
Sometimes we find our self in situations that lack the kindness that we all deserve to experience.
Often we are children raising children.
Every aspect of our life reflects something about how we feel about our self. We must first heal our self, before we can manage to be truly strong enough to assist others who are hurting. Sometimes we do not get the rest and education that we require to be able to move forward with confidence. Sometimes we barely get some relief and we are dealt another challenge to surmount. We can really only do so much at once. Education is a must, and finding the best methods for health and healing is paramount.
It is vital that we continue to study and seek support for our sobriety; for our stability, for our betterment; for our healing.
I have personally found a huge amount of support from several of the different 12 step groups that are famous for helping people with addictions. Codependency is often a core issue that exists within all of the addictive behaviors. Many addictions are fueled by unresolved relationship issues. There are 12 step groups that specifically focus on learning about codependency issues.
There are even people who are addicted to relationships.
As we mature and accept our adulthood, we find a sense of balance that allows us to appreciate our human complexities.
As we grow and find true healing, life becomes much more exciting and our creativity blossoms in new and joyful ways.
Blessed Be, Deborah Carroll.
Please send me an email at: email@example.com
The Homecoming, by John Bradshaw (The best book for healing inner child wounds)
Healing the Shame that Binds, You by John Bradshaw (An excellent book for dealing with our self image fears)
The Courage to Heal, and The Courage to Heal Workbook, (these books are for those who need support for sexual experiences that created trauma during childhood and adolescence)
The 12 Step Buddhist, by Darren Littlejohn (Enhance Recovery from Any Addiction)