Everything in life happens for a reason, and many reasons are unknown to us. Changes are a positive sign for sure. Yet sometimes we experience changes that are very surprising to us. We wonder what the reason is for certain accidents or illnesses or arguments that come up in our life’s experience. We wonder why we feel pain at different times in our body.

I can definitely confirm to the world that there are deeper levels of feeling that exist in the subconscious part of our spirit and also in the part of our spirit that can feel on a deeper level of feeling. This deeper level of feeling is called our authentic feelings. Our Authentic feelings are the feelings we feel honestly in our heart of hearts where our deepest truth is. From this place of deep knowing our mental ideas can not delude us into believing something that is not true. Babies and young children feel on this deeper level of feeling which gives the aura of the child a stronger density and gravity.

The part of our spirit that is angelic also feels on this deeper wisdom level. On a wisdom level we are not ruminating between positive and negative awareness of any feeling or belief. On a wisdom level we are very sure of what is truly in our heart as an honest feeling and belief. Sometimes as adults it is our beliefs that limit our ability to feel our feelings deeper. Often we experiment with different activities that seem to be fun and exciting yet we are not even aware of our underlying reasons for our choice of behavior.

Everything we choose can be examined. We have to dance a thin line in this truly messed up world that we live in. At least life is never boring or lacking in mystery, yet when we are bored that is a sign that our spirit is still seeking something more and that more mysteries are still secret to us and we desire to have the excitement of experiencing new awareness of things that will give us more pleasure. Certainly when it comes to sexuality we often seek peak experiences to test our boundaries and to see what more we can accomplish in our list of things to discover.

Many people are threatened by the unknown. Fear is a feeling that on an authentic level must accompany a real threat to be considered a valid fear….yet the mind will often keep us safe by scaring us from taking a risk. We fear making a mistake or doing something that could put us at risk in some way. For one thing we often fear feeling. Feelings are scary since they require vulnerability and authenticity. Being transparent can only be safely expressed in a private secret way so that no one else knows what we are feeling. This place is usually in our mind. Our mind is our master yet what do we choose to focus on?

We can focus on fear as a mental warning that life is not safe and then we deny that our truth is a feeling of excitement that we are resisting. Excitement is the joy of fear. Most of our fear is about not knowing what will happen in the next moment. When we are focusing on what to fear we attract negative outcomes usually. We want to be afraid. We want to have a reason to be afraid. I am not denying real true fear and I am not saying that it is wrong to be afraid mentally or to feel afraid due to emotional safety issues. I am merely stating a fact that it is easy to be afraid when there is no real reason for the fear.

As a matter of fact, one person who is afraid can discharge their fear out of their aura and it will land within the aura of another person who will suddenly feel panicked and wonder why they are suddenly feeling afraid. Where does all of the fear come from? Real fear is a human experience called Terror. Our feelings pair up and mix together with each other. The fear of fear is terror.

We can even learn to be excited about our terror to stay present and experience more of our real fear instead of leaving our presence and separating into a trance state to prevent receiving our fear directly in our body. Most of the fear that people in the world are suffering from everyday comes from historical memories of contracted pains that were created at the moment of a painful death in a past time on earth.

The past memories of violent death pain and terror exist in the collective unconscious and thus in the subconscious spirit body of every human being. Guess what? When people resist feeling their feelings and receiving their feelings in their body, their feelings are not being felt and received as love and then the undigested or unloved feelings magnetize the past contracted feelings to arise into present time consciousness and present time feeling experience…although many people do not know this is happening since they are only experiencing their feelings on an energy level; mental awareness level.

Tantra practices do integrate our human feelings into our body to allow for more feeling integration and thus more integration of our spirit and our denser blessings of love. The orgasm that we crave is experienced when heaven descends love blessings into our body. When we make love and masturbate and stimulate our genitals, we are opening up to our feelings of joyous joy and excitement of our pleasure, yet are we really receiving our joy and excitement? Or are we discharging it? Or are we contracting against it to cause hyper sensations to manifest that we only think are the real pleasure of our orgasm?

more to come…

work in progress, Deborah Carroll, April 15th, 2013.