The Bliss of Loving
Sensual & Loving Awareness for Couples who want to learn how to Share in a Healing & Intimate Union.
Tantra teaches how to bring spirit into matter, meaning how to manifest divine essence in the density of the physical body. When this happens, there is a line up with ones own divine essence that can be felt within the body. For this to occur, a person has to be comfortable being aware of all aspects of their true feelings, while at the same time slowing down inside to feel and receive them. It is from being able to stay present and conscious in each moment while continuing to feel in our bodies, which allows our divine spirit and wisdom to manifest in our physical body.
When it comes to love making techniques like g-spot massage and prolonging ejaculation, it is important once again to allow oneself to be very present in the moment while tuning in to feelings and really slowing down to be aware of all aspects of ones experience. Of course all of this takes time to learn to integrate and know as ones own second nature. Yet by beginning to learn some basic Tantric realizations, one can be guided towards having a healing experience with more present and conscious awareness.
When practicing Tantra techniques with a partner, it is most important to be able to communicate with them on a heart level. To do this requires that one learn how to be focused on a heart & love connection with their partner, while feeling at ease to share any feelings that come up during such intimate times. When one feels completely open to share how they really feel with their lover, then the sexual act of uniting together is an incredible experience.
To actually connect with another person, and be naked emotionally, heals each person, if they can surrender to such intimacy even when fears exist. Of course some fears may always exist, since as human beings, we will always be given an opportunity to feel any and all of our human feelings. To experience the sacredness of sharing love intimately, we are required to share all that we are with each other. If instead we choose to wear a mask, and keep certain aspects of ourselves hidden, we do not receive the full benefits that loving each other can offer.
Once we learn a few simple universal truths, opening up to
allow ourselves to feel more love becomes much easier, and the workings of true love become more transparent and obvious. We are all here to help and guide each other as we continue to evolve our souls along the path of life. To really be able to help each other requires that we are able to communicate what is in our hearts with each other. That is why we need to learn the kind of things that will show us how to heal with each other, and how to recognize the fears and limitations that keep us stuck in old habitual patterns that do not serve our highest desires.
It takes courage to look inside of ourselves and be aware of all of the aspects that we often avoid just for safety. After a while though the safety becomes a prison and rather than ignore the walls, it is best to break through them to reach a new freedom and a new happiness. Looking at things honestly is the best way to know what one really wants to create in their life. If true bliss joyful pleasure is what one wants, then one has to take the initiative to receive it!
When it comes to sensuality and sexuality, it is important to be aware of your true feelings, because the kind of karmic residue that is the easiest to incur is the karmic residue that results when people are sexual with each other. If you are not planning on being truly naked with someone during a sexual union, then you will be adding to karmic debts that will have to be accounted for at some time.
Thus being completely honest and emotionally naked with your partner will be of utmost importance. Since your partner is a big part of your outer world, you will want to be aware of what it is that you are creating with this person. Especially when you are sharing something as intimate as sexual union with each other.
When you do learn how to be really present and conscious and in your truth, you will find that making love is one of life’s biggest challenges, because the act of sex can easily take you away from feeling your feelings and being present with your lover. Thus when you are truly conscious in your love making, and your intent is to experience union with your lover, you have the potential to experience blissful orgasms that are unique, rather than habitual or static.
It is a challenge to change a pattern of having orgasms in a habitual way that you have become accustomed to. Often couples rush through their sensual moments and end up sharing a sexual experience, when they could choose to actualize feeling a blissfully loving union. The difference is often very subtle and requires continued vigilance and guidance to be capable of really discerning when each other’s presence is natural or a display.
The subtleties of knowing your true presence takes a while to learn. It really takes hours of practice to become more conscious of what is a natural expression and what is shared because of some agenda or a display. Thus learning how to be authentic takes practice for everyone, since we all have a certain amount of conditioning from societies’ general unspoken rules of proper or safe behavior.
If you are single, you will want to be very conscious of all of the details that you want to find manifested in a potential partner. For you to truly find lasting fulfillment in a relationship, you will first want to make a list of all of the things that you value the most in a person, whom you would want to choose to be your beloved.
Then you have to be very vigilante about taking the time that it takes to become intimate with a new person that you meet and consider dating. It takes time to get to know a person’s abilities, values, and beliefs. Before you make a definitive choice to get more involved and give more to a relationship, you will want to be sure that you are certain that you know a lot about the person you are attracted to before choosing a long term commitment with them.
Of course this will require you to know a good deal about yourself too. That is why it is always desirable to continue to educate yourself more and more about healing ways that will empower you and thus your life. Sometimes what happens is that one person grows faster than their partner. When the rift grows too wide, the relationship either changes or ends.
Red Tantra teachings focus on sensuality and sexual love making techniques for lovers. These teachings are just one aspect of learning how to be a better lover and how to give and receive more pleasure together. If you are in a relationship, then you will want to learn as much as you can about how to stay present with loving feelings and how to communicate in loving ways with each other.
Some of the love making techniques, actually stimulate healing situations that can create unexpected changes in a couple’s relationship. It is important to feel a deep sense of trust in the divine order of the events that occur in your life, even when the pictured horizon appears to be far away.
We are all here practicing and learning how to be better people and better lovers. We will only take a step forward when we are ready to. We need all of the patience we can muster up to receive each change with awareness and acceptance of our choices.
Copyright 01-12-2001, Deborah Joan Carroll.
Tantra – The Union of Heaven and Earth
Feeling True Love and True Wisdom is Bliss
The Universe that we live in is based on love and pleasure first and foremost. Thus anything that exists in your life, only exists because of love and receiving pleasure. Every choice that you make, in each moment that you live, will determine the quality of your life. Thus if the quality of your life is lacking in some way, it is because you derive pleasure from the circumstances on some level. Otherwise you would make the necessary choices to manifest positive changes in your life. Only you can take responsibility for where you find yourself.
This is a hard reality to face for those who feel like a victim of life’s circumstances. The way to get beyond the deficient circumstances is to start making new choices that will lead you towards creating the life that you want. To do this, it is important to seek and find healing information that really gives results. Whatever you want to create in your life can be accomplished once you find the best knowledge to satisfy your particular needs. Without education, you will not be able to put certain plans into action successfully.
Once you know the best way to create the life of your dreams, you will also want to know how to communicate your desires to others. Every day we have many opportunities to communicate to others how we feel, and what we intend to create, to better our lives. It is important to have the ability to be very conscious of what we want to communicate to others, and also to use this ability for good.
It is good to share our heart-felt intentions with people who are able to be equally aware, and consciously caring about us. We can not relate to each other without the ability to communicate what is in our hearts, and our minds.
As we practice being in our truth and sharing our ideas and feelings with the world, we start to fine-tune what is really true and what is fraudulent. The love that we seek must start with the ability to be honest. If we can not find honesty, then we can not be real. Because love is a feeling, it is vital that we allow ourselves to feel our feelings. If we are not able to find safe ways to feel every feeling that we have, then we will find ourselves adopting the habit of shutting down from feeling them. We also need to be able to share these feelings with other people in our lives. If we keep our inner world in isolation, then we begin to create a mask that will keep us separate from our outer world.
In Tantra teachings, it is a basic truth that each human being is connected as “One Being” in a place of heart, and love. This place that connects us all is a central channel that each one of us has, and is able to access within ourselves. To connect to the place of love that exists for all of us, we have to be able to know that each one of us is essentially the same. Of course different people are in different stages of development on their own individual, and unique path of life. Yet every person does have the ability to reach advanced states of healing, if they are willing to learn how to make healing occur for themselves and others.
No one really wants to be alone or reject others. On some level, even if it is unconscious for some people, the desire to know union exists. Every human has the desire to feel received by another and to feel cared for. Every human being has the ability to feel his or her own spirit and want to share it with another.
To experience how to discern what is really true within all of the communication that we experience, requires a fair bit of training, because the mind is very complex. This discernment comes when we have the ability to feel what is true.
To know a truth, you have to be able to feel it authentically. Essentially this just means that you are feeling in reality, and not just thinking that you are feeling.
When true feelings are felt, divine wisdom arises in the present moment.
This allows a person to be aware of something that had previously eluded them.
The more a person can be honest with themselves and others, the easier it is to connect with divine wisdom. We all have habits and patterns that exist from childhood, and previous incarnations that affect our human personality. We are all connected to divine love, and we can feel and know the wisdom and bliss of divine love, if we allow ourselves to connect with it. To do this requires that we become comfortable with our humanness, and this especially includes our human feelings, on all levels of all of our human feelings.
Our love is always present, yet our judgment of certain feelings as being wrong or bad keeps us in separation from our love. True love is unconditional, and thus, judging something as right or wrong is creating an agenda to keep things separate. If we see our behavior as the result of a choice, rather than being good or bad, we can begin to find the union of dark and light. The dark is love that has not been received as love. Since universal law dictates that love is the ruling factor in our world, then this includes even the dark aspects that are often rejected and judged as being evil or sinful. Actually, evil is when we choose not to feel. When we choose not to feel, we are rejecting love, because love is a feeling, and includes all authentic human feelings. We often choose not to feel because we are afraid of the judgment from other people, when we do feel.
In actuality, the more we can feel and receive all of our human feelings as love, the more we actually heal our whole being. And when other people are with us in the same room, and we are all really feeling authentically, we can feel the density of our love within the space that we are sitting in together in that room. One definition of Tantra, is to bring spirit into matter. Thus to feel any feeling authentically actually allows us to feel love, if we can let go of our judgment of the feeling. When we let go of the judgment, we can slow down and receive the feelings within our bodies, and get out of our habit of staying up in our heads. The more we feel authentically, the denser our body will feel, as our love descends more into our physical body, and into the density of physical matter.
When this happens, we are actually experiencing a line up of our feeling body with the rest of our body. This practice essentially connects heaven with earth.
To actually understand this to be true, you have to have an experience of it for yourself. Also you have to have a practiced person help to guide you as you begin to slow down, and let your feelings be felt and shared. Many different things are true, yet there are subtle differences as to what is authentic and what is not.
The results of learning these awareness techniques are definitely some of the most rewarding lessons you will ever have the opportunity to learn. The ability to feel and receive your love and share it with others, owning all of who and what you are, is a huge gift to yourself and others who are also open to it.
We are human beings living a human life, and we are also divine beings that are often choosing to be separate from human consciousness. The more we feel and know the truth of our divinity along with our humanness, the more we can choose to practice sharing more of our love and more of what is in our hearts to share.
When we know that we are everything and nothing, and when we feel that we can be anything that supports the evolution of our souls, we will choose to trust in the divine plan, and choose to follow our hearts. We can choose to learn a lineage of knowledge that will show us a transparent awareness of what is really true about our lives, and the lives of every other human being on the planet.
If you find yourself stumbling around in the dark, ask yourself why you are choosing to keep the dark separate from your heart. The judgment of what is dark may only serve to keep your heart closed to what you really want to share with your world. If you would choose to share how you really feel, and know if you are being received by the person you are communicating to, you would have to look at all aspects of yourself and your world. You would then have to look at all of your choices, and find the ones that allow you to feel your love the most. If you are suppressing your feelings to be nice, you may just be afraid of love. Only by feeling our love, do we in fact lose control. To have control over something is a dark aspect of life. You can not lose control of control. Thus it is losing control of love that we are most afraid of. We are not afraid of being in control, we are afraid of not being in control. It can feel very scary at times to let go of control and surrender into feeling, and sharing our love with other people.
Yet to surrender into love, and be loving, by giving and receiving love, is a chance to feel more joy for all of life and for all that we are. The more we feel all that is ready to be felt within ourselves, the more we learn how to receive more of our love. The more we can choose to feel more often, the more often we will feel the feeling of love within ourselves. The more we feel our love, the more we want to share our love with others, and the more we want to receive love from others. The more practice we have with all of our feelings, the easier it feels to be alive as a feeling human being. The more alive we feel, the more we feel our enthusiasm for life. When we surrender to love, we trust in divinity more, and we allow things to flow in and out of our lives more easily. We allow love to change us, and we trust that who we are becoming is a magnificent expression of love!
To do this requires that we let go of our attachment to our identity, or our story.
We have to let the frail ego die. We have to confess what we truly feel even if it includes feelings that are considered to be bad or unjust. When we feel, it is possible to feel any kind of feeling. Our habit is to not feel because we are afraid of the undesirable feelings. When we truly lose our attachment to having an identity that is based on the judgment of what we feel, we can relax into love even more. Love exists in all true feelings, even if the feelings are of cruelty and hate. It is when someone acts “without feeling” how their actions will affect the feelings of another person, that they are not able to be honest about their hidden motives to be cruel or hurt someone. In a situation like this, the dark aspects of love are manifesting as a separation. For the person who acted cruel, it is indeed a challenge to admit that on some level they did receive pleasure from their cruel actions. Yet confessing this truth allows for the person to heal the separation that would exist in believing a lie, or also known as denial. Remember, the acronym for denial is: “DON’T EVEN KNOW I AM LYING”. To feel a union with the divine, we have to feel authentically. Thus an honest feeling shared without an agenda or ulterior motive, is an act of love. Even if other people present in the midst of your shared authentic feeling, judge it as not being loving.
The human race has been conditioned to not feel for such a long time now, that most people have a habit of not sharing how they are truly feeling. An inner critic prevents most people from sharing the things that they really think about, and feel about. A part of us IS “very conscious” of what we are feeling, and what we are not sharing with others. This is the part of us that knows what is really true for us. We have to take time to really get to know what is going on within ourselves. The paradox is that we love to love, and we hate to hate. Yet it is also true that we hate to love, and we love to hate. A myriad of feelings and combinations of feelings exist within us to be felt. Thus we obviously experience mixed feelings!
Because of these polarized feelings, and aspects of life that exist here on earth, we will experience ALL of the many different qualities of love. To split the duality of this life, and be free of the paradox, we have to rage for our love! In doing this we are also raging for our vitality, and raging for our divinity. We do this to continue to choose love in as many of our moments as we possibly can. For anger, is the feeling that we must feel authentically to be able to empower ourselves, to make the choices that are really in alignment with our truth. It takes great courage to be a consciously loving, and authentically feeling human being.
Imagine a world where every choice to FEEL leads you to a place where you can feel more connected to life, and where you can experience more compassion for yourself and others. It is one thing to think about these ideas as concepts, and understand them, and it is another thing to feel a true feeling of compassion that permeates throughout your whole being. To have a real experience of feeling divine love on a deep level, within your own physical body, that you can feel deep inside of your very bones, is a beautiful validation of the fact that divinity does exist here on earth, as it exists in heaven.
For it is our basic human feelings that once felt authentically, allows us to feel our love, be it human, and/or divine. No matter what circumstances are prevalent, love and pleasure are always the main determining factors. If you can believe in this truth, you can use it as a way to determine which choices you have, or haven’t made, that keep you from realizing your truth. It is your truth that will center you, to create a life that is full of the things that you dream about manifesting, and that is in alignment with your highest good, and your soul’s evolution.
work in progress;
copyright, 01/12/2001, Deborah Joan Carroll